My friend John is a future saint.

One of the greatest blessings of my work as a board member for The Highlands School is the relationship I’ve formed with my dear friend, Coach John Holbrook.

Coach Holbrook has spent decades serving the school in many capacities, from the school board to the soccer field, and constantly prays for each person he meets while showing up for others with kindness, patience, and love. His overall contribution to the school is like an iceberg, with the vast majority of his impact and sacrifice remaining unseen by the general public.

Coach is not just a friend; he is also a mentor. The lessons I’ve learned from Coach span many areas of life, but none are as significant as what he has taught me about forgiveness.

Coach Holbrook forgave the man who murdered his sister, and the details of how this act of mercy unfolded are so unbelievable that only God could write such a story.

Coach grew up as the youngest of six children and was very close to his sister Judy, his oldest sister and second-oldest sibling. John and Judy were known as the “neat freaks” of the family and even shared a room for a long stretch of childhood.

In 1984, Judy, whose last name was now Tipton, was raising two daughters and working at the Red Eagle Bar in Hurst, Texas, near Fort Worth. She would hang out at the Red Eagle on her nights off, and one night, a fight broke out over a game of pool between some customers. After the fight ended, one of the young men in the fight couldn’t contain his rage. Instead of leaving the premises to cool off, he returned inside to the bar with a gun and shot Judy. She was taken to the hospital, and Coach rushed to be by her side.

Coach stayed in the hospital by Judy’s side for three nights. He was already married to his sweetheart, Sherri, and together they committed to helping Judy through this ordeal. After a few days, it looked as though Judy would recover, so Coach left the hospital to handle some business for a few hours. While he was out, Judy suffered an embolism and died that day. To say that this was a defining moment of Coach’s life would be an understatement.

Coach and his wife brought Judy’s daughters in to live with them for a few months. Meanwhile, the Crimestoppers organization launched a national television spot highlighting Judy’s case, and the man who murdered her was soon caught by the authorities and set for trial. The jury deliberated for only a short time and even requested one more hour on a Thursday evening to put the case to rest before the week was over. They returned a guilty verdict, and this young man was sentenced to 24 years in prison.

Coach Holbrook has always been in the construction business, primarily specializing in dirt work for large projects. In 1997, the person in charge of payroll at his company was on vacation, and Coach set aside time to cut each of the checks that week, a process that involved handwriting each person’s name and their check amount.

His blood began to boil as he was writing the name of a new driver who had just joined the crew. It was the same first, middle, and last name of the man who had murdered his sister. Wanting to be double-sure it was him, Coach pulled the man’s file, and sure enough, the man had been incarcerated and recently released before coming to work at the construction company. While serving his time, he had received his CDL (commercial driver’s license), and now Coach faced a situation he could never have imagined.

The man who murdered his sister was now one of his employees. What are the odds that 13 years after the horrible incident and his release from jail, this man would end up at Coach’s company? And what are the odds that this man’s first paycheck would fall on a week when Coach was cutting the checks, a part of the job he rarely performed? What are the odds that Coach would notice the man’s very generic first and last name among the 60 employees, except for his unique middle name that caused Coach to immediately realize what had happened?

When I talked with Coach about this story, I asked him to share his initial reactions when it became clear what was happening. “Did you want to get revenge?” I asked. “Yes, but I couldn’t hurt him or kill him, because I am not a murderer.” Instead, Coach drove to the jobsite where his company was building a Walmart and asked to meet with the man.

Without sharing any details about their connection, Coach asked the man about his time in the corrections facility and why he was in there in the first place. The man gave an honest and vulnerable answer, telling his boss about the mistakes he made as a young man and the regret that he had lived with ever since. Coach then let the man know that the woman he shot and killed was his beloved sister.

Coach recalls that the man offered an earnest, compassionate apology. He was truly remorseful for his actions, and that had a big impact on Coach. Acknowledging that he had to go find a different job, Coach paid him for the wages he had already earned and sent him on his way.

“Meeting him helped me heal,” Coach shared with tear-filled eyes. “I had spent over a decade hating him more than anyone, and here I was face-to-face with him.” In that moment, it became clear to Coach that this man had been a lost and broken teenager with no mentor or father figure, and now he was doing his best to get his life together after serving his time in jail. The man who murdered Judy was no longer a terrible animal to be hated. Coach could now see him as a human being who needed mercy, direction, and the dignity of stable work.

“I had no desire to ever forgive this man, and then God put him right in front of me months after he was released from jail. Truly unbelievable.”

Did Coach forgive him in the parking lot that day? No. However, something about that encounter opened Coach to a new pathway and forgiveness was now possible. It took time, but Coach knows today that his gradual forgiveness of this man is now complete.

The loss of Judy Tipton is still painful for Coach, and he misses her every day. I wanted to make sure he approved my sharing of this story, and Coach responded, “When I share the pain, it helps me to heal.”

Coach John Holbrook serves others every day. He is known by all as someone who gives everything he can to the people and causes in his life, but his real gift to others is so much deeper and richer. This man, who could have justifiably receded into the shadows of life, takes the time to share his love, vulnerability, and prayers with others, knowing that God is using his life and his stories to help others in need.

Please pause now and ask yourself - If Coach can forgive the man who murdered his sister, who can I forgive today? What transgression can I look at from a bigger life picture and forgive, even if there is still pain from the act? Better yet, who can I call or visit this week in the spirit of reconciliation, seeking and offering earnest forgiveness?

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”