Comparison to Others is a Recipe for Misery

I have no desire to be better than you.

I just want to be the best me.

My best changes from day to day, hour to hour.

My best is different when I am healthy, rested, and surrounded by people who give me energy. But even when those things are not present, I am still called to be the best me.

Comparison to others is not productive.

The only comparison that brings me satisfaction is to compare my focus and effort against my potential for both. Then I ask, did I show up the best I could in this situation? If the answer is yes, all is good. If the answer is no, I take a moment to inventory the situation and determine what needs to be different to operate with my best focus and effort.

But what if you truly are “the best” at something?

Perhaps you are the best salesperson at your company, the most talented musician in your group, or the fastest player on the field. What good does it do to be “the best” in any of those situations if you are comparing yourself to others and not genuinely challenging yourself to be the best you?

If you perform a task or demonstrate your skill to just be better than others, there is little to no satisfaction in the result. But if your focus and effort are the best you can give in each circumstance, you can experience the contentedness of being your best self, regardless of the outcome and the performance of others.

Stop trying to be better than others.

Just be the best you.

30 Life Hacks I know at 30

That I wish I knew at 20

Check out these quick hits to get your day and week focused. Or, better yet, pick 3 of them and put them into practice starting today.

Here are a few of our favorites:

• Stop regretting past decisions. You made the best choice at the time with the knowledge you had. Be at peace with it. 
• The way you talk about others is how you talk to yourself, so be kind. 
• Simplify your finances, cancel unused subscriptions, and automate your bills, savings, and investments. 
• Read more

Thanks to @librarymindset on for this great list. 

How to Create the Ideal Personal Brand for Your Career

PR and branding agencies will pitch you on how to create the ideal personal brand. They aim to get you into the best jobs and make you stand out from the other candidates.

Sounds great, right?

But what happens if it works?

Now, you’ve been selected to work with and for someone who bought the outward image of your personality via branding. Either your new boss will be confused by the discord between the real you and the branded you, or you will be exhausted by having to continue to operate in a disingenuous fashion.

Why not try this instead?

Be you.

Be the unique, quirky, one-of-kind, perfectly made - You.

You are far more memorable, and if you get the job, you will also be far more productive, comfortable, and appropriately challenged because they hired you.

Storytime

Years ago, I worked with an agency to construct a go-to-market strategy for my keynote talks. They worked tirelessly, trying to craft my “online persona” and develop my “brand voice.” Eventually, I stopped the entire project because I wanted my brand just to be me. Real life, authentic, goofy – me.

And it worked. My personal brand is effortless because it is just living how I live and talking how I talk.

I am grateful for that process. It taught me a lot. But I am even more thankful for the outcome, and I vow never to go down that trail again.